Biological Clock Ticking

'I am not excluding anything and I’m not gonna apologize for it. And this isn’t about me wanting a man either. This is about me wanting a partner, OK? A partner to go through life with. And since I happen to be heterosexual, well that limits the field to men, at least if I wanna have sex. And I do! I like sex! And if that makes me weak, tough! Then I wanna be weak. I want a partner! I want sex! I-I want a house with furniture! I wanna have a baby! I wanna have all of it! I wanna get fat! I wanna wear maternity dresses! I wanna stick my legs up in stirrup, take two shots of potassium and spit the little thing right out between my thighs and then have him suck on my breasts with daddy standing right there the whole time pointing to the camcorder, OK? That is what I want! And instead of waiting for it to happen, I’M GONNA MAKE IT HAPPEN!'

(applause)